‘Power corrupts — absolute power corrupts absolutely.’
English historian Lord Acton (1834–1902)
The sight of thousands of men goose-stepping in Moscow to celebrate the 80th anniversary of VE Day, the gathering of 133 male cardinals in the Vatican to elect the new (male) Pope, the male-dominated executive surrounding Donald Trump in Washington: it's a year that has really brought out male dominance, and much of that male headship gives rise to great anxiety about our future.
Meanwhile, young men can find the modern-day social and cultural calls for gender equality deeply challenging: they see all the parade of male headship across the world but, when it doesn't translate into their own lives, they so often retreat into deeply unacceptable behaviour, as evidenced in the ‘manosphere’ or as shown in the recent film series ‘Adolescence’.
It also challenges their ability to make a confident start to adult life, as the Centre for Social Justice drew attention to in their recent report, ‘Lost Boys’: showing how the proportion of 16-24 year-olds who are not in education, employment or training is 35% higher for young men than for young women.
The origins of male dominance are firmly rooted in nature and in our evolution from animal life, and it's therefore not surprising that we find it so hard to move on. But grow out of these origins we must, because humanity's ability to endanger both its own existence and that of the natural world is greater than ever throughout history, and it continues to build exponentially. To enable this change, men must learn to care for others and to plan for a better future: both characteristics which are the natural focus of women.
Those who are familiar with microfinance will be aware of its women-focused design, which draws precisely on these characteristics in the provision of loan finance and the building of co-operative communities. But we cannot leave men out in the cold; we need to move on from that male psychology which is based on the same sparring and territorial dominance which we find among wild animals.
Twelve years ago, while I was a lay member of the Church of England’s General Synod, the issue of male headship was brought into sharp relief in the debates leading up to the introduction of women bishops. I wrote a strong letter at the time to my colleagues, drawing attention to the elitism on which the concept of male headship is based, and how it is rooted in the same soil of prejudice and discrimination which has given rise to all kinds of ethnic persecution, so much of which we have seen over the last century alone.
There was considerable resistance and opposition to my approach, and male headship ideology continues to be widespread among Churches. Indeed, the Catholic Church has yet to make any start in welcoming women priests, bishops and cardinals.
This is not to say that men in the Christian faith are unaware of the danger that can arise from male dominance: quite the reverse — it is probably the main cause for the strong focus on sin and the need for redemption over the past two thousand years. But the male side of our species, whether linked to faith or not, must learn that it is only through sharing responsibility and leadership that we can move on from the awful aggression which threatens our world.
Jesus showed how to achieve this: that the way to move on is to focus on servant leadership, something that secular life finds very difficult to accept. For women, servant leadership comes naturally; for men, we have to learn proactively what it means. Perhaps that's why God chose to walk on earth as a man, in order to show us the willpower needed to acquire those servant leadership characteristics that come naturally to women.
By washing his disciples’ feet at the Last Supper (which included dealing robustly with Peter's challenge), Jesus provided a direct example of servant leadership. In his instruction to love others no matter how different they are — even to the extent of loving our enemies and praying for those who persecute us — he provided a complete contrast to the aggression which results from male domination.
So there is much that the Christian faith can offer to counter the psychological appeal of male headship, even though Christian churches have much to learn in this respect.
For those obsessed with gender issues in churches, Jesus’s discussion with the Sadducees is the clearest evidence that there is no gender in heaven. And logically, why should there be? The soul doesn’t need to engage in physical reproduction, and the love with which it is surrounded is not in any way partial or bilateral — it is universal and unconditional. So, as a corollary for matters spiritual here on earth, why should the Church struggle so much with women’s ministry and leadership?
But the fact remains that it is men who start wars, not women. It is men who fill our prisons, not women. The male side of our species has so much to learn in order that humanity can survive into the future, as the tools of destruction become ever more powerful; but that learning must be constructive — it cannot result in generations of ‘lost boys’.
It must start with men coming to terms with what servant leadership means, and being prepared to learn from women to build proper respect and care for others. We must come to terms with our masculinity, and stop behaving like stags in the rutting season, which engage in displays of dominance and aggression to compete for mating opportunities with female deer — roaring, parallel walking, posturing, and eventually fighting if dominance cannot be established by other means.
Stags cannot destroy the future — men can, and will, if we don’t grow out of this behaviour.
Gavin Oldham OBE
Share Radio